Greetings people, yesterday was a Marvelous Monday. Madam Prezident had a-lot of business to handle and class work. I am sorry, that I had to neglect my ‘baby the blog’ for this Hebrew-slave day. I am taking 24 credit hours at Kentucky State University. Yea, I know SUICIDLE right?!?!
Well, of course I have some sound advice that is worth listening to. This is a shaky topic, but to me it’s a NO-BRAINER! People have plenty debates on whether they should remain friends with their ex after the relationship is over.
When I meet someone and I plan to have a long-term relationship with them I have the tendency to develop an attitude of “co-existence”. My ideology behind this method is, “I love you and I’m not trying to change your world, I would like to co-exist in it- Compromise in so many words. However, this last time, I played that co-existence shit a little too much, hell I was co-existing with ex. That’s a problem! When you decide to co-exist with someone; first you have to understand their world. My ex always explained how he and his ex were close friends, and it was going to be that way forever. So, like most women I swallowed my pride and went along with things. That was a bad idea, but I learned a lot from my poor decision. I learned that “People hold on to what and who they want to hold on to”.
You and your ex do not have to be friends!!! This gesture doesn’t mean that you can’t pray, love, care, and wish your ex well. It just means you and your ex don’t have to pretend that you all are sand box friends that happen to be inseparable. Friendships that have any sexual relation aren’t the same as child hood friendships. You have to realize the dynamic of your acquaintance with your ex.
Are you and your ex friends because of the secrets you shared? Are you and your ex friends because you all are cool with each-other? Are you and your ex friends because of your great sex? Are you all friends because of the relationship with your ex family, and child?
Well, whatever the answer is, you have to remember one thing. “Don’t let your relationship with your ex RUIN every opportunity of love you have with someone else”! I am not that close of a friend with any of my ex’s where we speak every day. I have never lost a love because of my relationship with my ex’s and I never will.
What you all must understand about having a detrimental relationship with your ex is it’s a hindrance to the possibility of other things. You and your ex have a very intimate past. It is unfair for you to present this unusual connection to a new love, as if it’s OKAY. Because it’s not!
Now if you haven’t listened to anything I’ve said listen to this carefully, “if you are in a relationship with someone and they have an unusual relationship with their ex, that make you feel uncertain and uneasy YOU BETTER LEAVE NOW”!!! You are dealing with a dangerous situation. What happens is, your man or woman may love you dearly, but it’s something about their relations with their ex that they won let go, and if they won’t let the ex go, they can’t fully hold on to you.
The problem is ‘your lover has his ex. For some things he/she doesn’t need you, but you only have him. You don’t have an ex to hold on too, so you’re able to give 100% and you’re taking 50% from him/her. My ex cheated on me with his ex, but all I could do was hurt because the nigga showed me from the beginning that it wasn’t a usual friendship, and I was all sprung and decided to ignore the obvious “If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, IT NOT A FUCKING FOX”. Remember, “He can’t hold on to you if he WON’T LET HER GO”!!!
Meaningful Blessings,
Madam Prezident
